Monday, September 3, 2012


Dump out stuff in purse,
Fish through pockets, dig through trash.
Keys found in the fridge!

Traffic lights, stop signs,
Allergy eyes, big, bright zit.
RED things suck, don't they?

Son wails on guitar,
Husband brings iPad to bed.
Think I’ll sleep outdoors!

Friday, July 6, 2012

An UnPETurbed Household?

Are you a pet owner? Or would you rather just be a cat or dog aunty or uncle? Visit me on An Army of Ermas for a few laughs.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


So I'm re-reading Jaws, a novel I read many years ago, and trying to figure out why I'm so fascinated with sharks. Thirty-seven years ago, I was a young college student who couldn't get enough of sharks! I read the novel, watched the movie (probably more than once), and went to the library to study up on these marvelous creatures. Me: Gimme all your books on sharks. But why? I wasn't sure then and I'm still not sure now. It could be the scare factor. Some of us love most what scares us the most. Roller coaster rides, haunted houses, slasher movies, zombies, vampires--if it gives us the chills, it wakes up our senses. We're more alive because the adrenaline's pumping. Now I wouldn't want to go swimming in the ocean with a great white. And I wouldn't volunteer to toss fish into one's mouth from a nearby boat. No, that's okay, I'll pass. But study this creature from the safety of a library or my home? Sure! Bring on the books and pictures. I want to know everything--what it eats, how it digests what it eats, where you can find one, how long it lives, etc., etc. I just finished reading that sharks don't really like the taste of humans. That's kinda good to know. If I ever find myself in the water with one, I'll keep that in mind. But that's about as likely to happen as my winning the Powerball jackpot. Although..

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Seven Surefire Ways To Lose Weight This Year

1. Go to the gym.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Oh no, not a gym membership! I’ll go once and never go back again. How on earth is this method ever going to work? Simple. What you’re going to do is WALK to the gym! That’s right. Even if it’s 50 miles away. Walk all the way to the gym and once you get there, walk all the way home again. That should help shed some pounds.

2. Tape a photo of one of those perfect-bodied Victoria’s Secret models onto your refrigerator door.

Or multiple photos, if you want. Yes, a refrigerator adorned with a montage of perfectly sculpted beach bodies might just be the ticket to total fitness in 2012. Why? ‘Cause every time you’re tempted to open up the fridge and grab a handful of fried chicken, darn it all, one of those babes will look you in the eye, admonishing, “You’re eating again? Piggy!”
Of course, you’ll slink away in embarrassment.

3. Tape a naked photo of YOURSELF on the fridge.

No explanation needed.

4. Buy yourself a dog that runs really, really fast (such as a greyhound or a whippet) and take it for a nice walk at least 3 times a day.

Did you know the whippet is the fastest dog on earth? Take your whippet out onto the bike path and perhaps he’ll take YOU for a nice long walk (make that RUN).

5. Run for President of the United States.

Hey, it IS an election year, right? Might as well throw your hat into the ring and run as an Independent. Some of the candidates ain’t looking all that great, anyways. Since it’s sure to be stressful and hectic out there on the campaign trail, with long days and nights, you probably won’t have time to eat anything.

6. Buy a whole bunch of bigger, baggier clothes.

What we’re going for here is the illusion of weight loss. An acquaintance sees you at the grocery store in your oversized shirt and says, “Wow, that shirt is just hanging off you, girl! Have you lost weight?”

And finally, if all else fails there’s this one:

7. Have your lips surgically sewn together.

Nothing beats this one! If the food can’t get into the mouth, the fat can’t get onto the hips. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Happy New Year!

Monday, January 9, 2012

January's here!

As December was coming to a close, I looked out the kitchen window one day and thought the sky looked rather picturesque. There was this unusual contrast--like 2 different blue layers of the sky.

I grabbed my camera and shot a few pics.