WAKE UP!!!

We had a silly, but fun discussion this morning, getting ready for school and work. My youngest son was commenting about his older brother away at college, who has enormous difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. Evidently he's frequently late for his morning classes. So my youngest son was suggesting we buy him a talking alarm clock, something really loud or obnoxious that would make him bolt out of bed in order to silence the annoying voice or sound.

Our discussion revolved around the possible clock sounds/voices. What animal noise might do the trick? I thought a rooster crowing, but my youngest suggested a cow mooing or a pig squealing. My daughter chimed in with dogs and wolves.

Then we progressed to other sounds. I thought maybe Steven Tyler of Aerosmith screaming one of his songs might do it. "Dream onnnnn...", but my son said, "No, that would just make him think he should keep dreaming."

So we discussed other singers with unusual, loud or somehow unique vocal skills. Ozzy Osbourne, Joe Cocker, Janis Joplin, perhaps Minnie Riperton? ("la la la la la--ah ah ah ah ah ah") Yeah, that last one ought to rip right through the brain!

We pondered whether a piercing movie scream might do the trick. Imagine waking each morning to Janet Leigh's Psycho shower scream. Or maybe just The Godfather or some other scary dude threatening you to "GET UP NOW!"

Yes, we ran the gamut from animals to rockers to screamers to criminals in our attempt to pinpoint the perfect alarm clock for my oldest son. I don't even know if they make such devices, but if not, it's high time they did!

After all, some people simply do not wake up to your typical beeping noise or radio station music. For these people much more effort is needed.

I just might have to go into the clock business.