One of the true hallmarks of the Christmas season is hearing those old familiar songs everywhere you go--malls, dentist offices, restaurants, the workplace--you name it, they're blasting Jingle Bells, The Christmas Song, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and various other little ditties on loudspeakers and radios all over town.   And whether you want to hear them or not, you're gonna hear them.

Now don't get me wrong; I like Christmas songs.  I even like singing along with them.  Sometimes I even make up my own lyrics to go with them. (Sometimes by accident.)  For instance, years ago when I was a youngster I recall hearing Jose Feliciano on the radio strumming his guitar and singing Feliz Navidad.   "Merry Christmas", how perfectly appropriate.  I, however, mistook the lyrics he was singing for "Her Knees Knocky Knock."  I sure did wonder what was so Christmasy about that.  It finally took some all-knowing adult to set me straight.  "It's Feliz Navidad, Kathy."

And then there was my brother-in-law's little faux pas when singing "Hark The Herald Angels Sing."  Instead he sang, "Hark the HAROLD Angels Sing."  Guess he figured the song was about some guy named Harold.

I have a friend who likes to change the lyrics to "The Christmas Song."  Instead of that familiar line, "Jack Frost nipping at your nose", she thinks it's funnier to say, "Jack Frost ripping off your nose."  Not a bad substitute considering how cold our New England winters can be.

Since I was sure there must be others out there who goof up Christmas song lyrics, I decided to do a little research.  I found out that Jingle Bells has been mangled with lines such as:  "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one whore, sauce and sleigh."  Wow, that's a Christmas you won't forget.

And apparently some people misinterpret some of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" when they sing:  "oh bring us some frigging pudding" instead of the usual figgy pudding.  Guess they want that pudding in a hurry!

I also discovered that some who've heard "Away in a Manger" have interpreted "the cattle are lowing, the poor baby wakes" as "the cattle are blowing the poor baby away."  Not a pleasant thought at all.

But I think the cutest Christmas flub of all was the one by my youngest son when he was in second grade.  Although it's not a song boo-boo, it happened at Christmastime and it's Christmas-related.  He came home one day in late November and handed me his report card.  While my two older kids were telling me their numeric grades, my youngest child announced one of his grades.  Excitedly he said, "I got Santa's factory."

That sure sounded "satisfactory" to me.

Leave a comment if you can relate!