Dreaming of Summer

(Adding onto this today, January 15th)

Okay, it's cold.  It's really cold.  Can't go outside without a coat, gloves and hat.  My skin is dry and itchy.  My hair has that electricity thing going for it.  If I go to touch something--ZAP! Shocking.  I try putting water on my hair to get it to sit down.  It sits down very briefly.  The next time I have to go outside, I first have to stick my hat on my head, so of course when I remove my hat, voila, the electricity is back!  Okay.  Forget it.  I either have to go hatless or just plan on spending the rest of the winter looking like Einstein.  Ever see his hair?

We used to have an Einstein poster in the kids' bedroom when they were little.  Why?  I have no idea.  My husband put it up.  I think he had this notion that staring at Einstein every day would somehow make the kids smarter.  And, come to think of it, it worked!

But back to winter.  I've never liked it.  So why do I live in New England?  Good question.  Because I was born here.  Because it's too expensive to move.  Yeah.  So it is simply a matter of toughing it out, dreaming of spring.  And dreaming of summer.

Sigh.  What is there to do but dream of summer.  Warm weather, flip flops, ice cream, blue skies, sandy beaches.  Sundresses, skimpy swimsuits, tank tops, sandals.  Sunshine.  I miss the sun.

Sigh.  I'm gonna find a cave and hibernate for a while.  I'll see you in the spring!

You say you want a resolution...

I've been working on my New Year's resolutions.  I know, I know.  People never keep them so why bother making them, right?

Well, maybe there is a good reason.  I figure if I write them down here in this blog, I can keep coming back to make sure I stay on track.  It's worth a shot.  So, without further ado...

In 2009 I resolve to...

1. Read more books.  I am already keeping this one.  Have now read two novels this month.  My goal will be to read at least one novel per month.

2. Finish each writing project I start no matter long it is meant to be.

3. Stay on track with my healthy eating and exercising.

4. Seek out new writing markets.

5. Encourage my family members to be more self-sufficient which includes saying no to their requests that often eat up my time.

6. Volunteer somewhere.

Old Age

I've been pondering the old age dilemma for some time now.  It pops up in my mind from time to time as I observe the effects of old age in people I know, people I love.  And nothing I've observed sweetens the idea of aging so far.  Particularly when I see what aging has done to my own parents.  My father died at the age of 90 after surgery to repair a hole in his small intestine--a risky procedure for anyone, even riskier for an elderly man.  Amazingly enough he survived the surgery.  But he still wasn't out of the woods, according to the surgeon.  And indeed he succumbed to the complications of the surgery and the illness itself--one he may have suffered for quite some time, but no one knew because he chose to keep it quiet.  That was his way, that was his choice.  My father hated going to the doctor; he hated hospitals.  And he stubbornly refused to enter a nursing home for many years.  Our family believes he wanted to die in his own home.

My mother has been living in a nursing home for the past 2 or 3 years.  The years have passed so quickly, I find it hard to calculate just how many have passed.  She is a victim of Alzheimer's, living a predictable life of routines that help her cope.  Her short-term memory leaves her forgetting anything that has been said or done in the past five minutes or so.  But her long-term memory is excellent and she often tells us stories from her past.  Still, with a progressive illness that will never get better, she can only live one day at a time and counts on nurse's aides to care for her, both emotionally and physically.

So all of this leads me to the question of aging.  Why does it scare me and why is it something I do not look forward to?

I think if an elderly person (say around age 80) looks back on his life and realizes he has accomplished quite a bit in all those years, then the idea of being old and perhaps close to death is not so scary or unfavorable.  And if that person still retains memories, is still able to think clearly, and is in reasonably good health, so much the better.

But a person who reaches old age realizing she has not accomplished all of her goals may have quite the opposite feeling about it.  How sad to have regrets about one's life, knowing time has run out, the body has run down, and it's too late to do anything about it.

So yes, old age scares me.  I haven't accomplished all of the things I want to accomplish.  And I certainly don't welcome illness.  And perhaps it also has something to do with control.  There are many things in our lives we can control, but we can't stop the aging process.  I can't snap my fingers at age 53 and say:  That's it!  I'm staying this age for the rest of my time on earth.

So what do you think?  Drop me a comment and weigh in on this topic.

This is 2009!

Just finished reading Wifey by Judy Blume.  It's about a thirty-something married woman who's pretty much bored with her sex life.  She ends up having multiple sexual encounters, mostly with one guy from her past--the one that got away.   She's always loved the one that got away and thinks he'll just dump his wife and family and, after she's free, marry her.   No such luck she finds out.  So ultimately she has to decide whether to stay with her husband or divorce him and start over again.  She decides to stay with her husband and try to make things better.

I must say I was surprised by the ending.  The husband is not nice to her all throughout the book.  He criticizes her like crazy, is very rigid in his ways and thinking, and even though he says he loves her, doesn't SHOW it.  After all of the things she discovers about herself throughout the story, one might think she would have one of those Ah ha! moments and think to herself:  Screw this lifestyle!  I'm outta here!  This just ain't working.

Cue Dr. Phil's question:  How's that workin' for ya?  

Main character in novel:  It's not workin' for me, Dr. Phil.

Ah, but that's today's world.  This novel was written in 1978.  A different time period.  Written today, perhaps there'd be a different outcome.  The main character would visit a shrink, read a lot of self-help books, watch Oprah and Dr. Phil, talk to her girlfriends in detail, and ultimately decide to divorce the rigid, critical, snobbish, only wants sex on Saturday nights and in the missionary position husband of hers and start over again.

Ah.  But this is 2009.  It is, isn't it?

After Christmas Thoughts--Time to Make a Plan!

So the madness is over now and life can return to normal.  Right?  Whatever normal is.

In a few days I can hang up my new Wizard of Oz calendar, purchased during my visit to Mystic, Connecticut.  A new year ahead so it's time to start planning for 2009.  Do you have a plan?  So far I don't.  But it's time to get busy and make one.

I've never really liked plans.  I've always been a "fly by the seat of her pants" kinda girl.  (Thank you, Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman)  Just shuffle along, take life one step at a time and see what happens.  Only flaw in that philosophy?  Quite often nothing happens.

I will never forget a line from one of Shakespeare's plays.  (Sorry, but I can't remember whether it was Richard II or Richard III)  Richard is locked up in a prison and he says, "I wasted time, and now doth time waste me."  And why is that so memorable?  Because it concerns the nature of time-wasting. Just what constitutes wasting time?  How does one determine that?  If a person spends the entire afternoon playing video games, is that wasting time or is it time spent having fun/relaxing?

If a person spends the entire evening watching television or DVDs, is that wasting time or is it spending an enjoyable evening on the couch being entertained?

Who can say?  It's all a matter of opinion.  But the gist of that line spoken by Richard is that HE felt he had wasted time, wasted his life not doing important things, and now he was rotting away in prison.  And that's the point I want to make here.  Each of us has to determine what it is we want in life and how we are to make it happen.  Time is only wasted if we're not accomplishing the things we want to accomplish.  Everyone needs some down time to unwind and have some fun.  But too much down time means that list of accomplishments will never get fulfilled.  The master plan will just be a bunch of meaningless words on a piece of paper or computer screen.

So I'm going to make a plan.  And I'm going to try to make it come to life.  I don't want to end up like Richard dying on my deathbed spouting the words, "I wasted time and now doth time waste me."

Nope.  It's time to make a plan!

Too Hot To Handle

So, I was watching a fashion show on The Today Show.  As a young model pranced about wearing a tight pair of black pants and a white shirt (or maybe it was silver), the spokesperson narrating the event was saying that the model could wear this particular pair of pants since she had a "hot" body.  Hmm.  The model was quite slender and that got me thinking about the term "hot body."  What exactly constitutes a "hot body"?

Does one have to be model thin to have a hot body?  And isn't the term subjective anyway?  Surely there are some people who think ultra thin women aren't really all that hot, right?  I mean aren't curves supposed to be sexy?

But what do I know.  I suppose men would accuse me of being jealous because these teensy weensy waisted women are thought of as "hot".  But if they truly are hot, what did that make someone like Marilyn Monroe?  She certainly wasn't pencil-thin.  Would she be considered fat in today's world?

So what do I want?  To outlaw the word "hot".  Let's just erase it from the English language.  Nobody gets to be called "hot" unless the thermometer reads 100 degrees and/or the person is sweating.  He or she is hot and needs a nice, big, cold drink of lemonade!

Merry Christmas to all!

It's four days 'til Christmas

and all through my house

Not a youngster is stirring,

not even my spouse.

They're asleep in their beds

just as snug as can be,

I'm the only one up,

yup, just me and my tree.

So I glance out the window

and what do I see?

Not something I wished for,

don't want it, not me.

It's that four-letter word

people whisper 'round here,

'Cause to say it out loud

makes them reach for a beer.

Yes, it's SNOW!  Here it comes

falling down from the sky!

All my plans are now history,

I'm bumming, am I.

Can't go do some shopping,

can't visit my mom,

Don't tell me to chill out,

I just can't be calm!

I'm stuck in this house

and the walls will close in,

Yes, claustrophobia's

sure to begin.

I guess I'll just write down

these thoughts on the screen,

After all, I'm a writer,

Ya know what I mean?

Ah, I'm feeling much better

and all through my house,

The youngsters are stirring,

including my spouse!

And they hear me exclaim

as I'm typing away:

Merry Christmas to all!

and to all a good day!